hiddenmuse: (Hammertime!)
Just a warning - this is yet another entry about coming out.

As you all know, I did come out to my mom, who then outed me to the rest of the family. However, I have yet to come out to my dad.

For those who have come out to family, how did you go about it? Since my initial coming out was a "she asked, I told" deal ... this is something else altogether.

Did you just say, "I have something to tell you..." or "I'm gay" or did you have some other method to convey it?

This is a somewhat fragile relationship, and I'm doing what I can to rebuild it, so I want to do what I can to fuck it up as little as possible.

Thank you! :-D
hiddenmuse: (Diamond)
I don't think I'd mentioned this, but during my conversation with my mom, she made this comment: "I want you to know that I didn't bring you up this way."

Well, I figured as much. Considering the conversations I've had with fellow gay Mormons (the very few that I know ... if anyone knows a gay Mormon, send them my way, please!), we were all brought up to be good people - fine, upstanding, *heterosexual* Mormon adults. Instead, we grew up to be good people - fine, upstanding, *gay* adults. I think my mom just threw that comment in there, as though I'd blame her for my sexuality or something. Please ... if I went with what I'd grown up with, I'd probably be a homophobic, conservative Stepford Wife.

Also, I think that my mom needs to learn a thing or two about the whole coming out process. Calling my brother to give him the news is not the way to go. I should've been the one to call him and say, "hey, Dan, I've got something to tell you..." Ah well. He knows, and he was about as cool as a "good Mormon boy" could be - while he doesn't agree with my being queer, he still loves and supports me. And, you know, that's all I really want. I don't care if someone hates my sexual orientation - I just want to know that I still have your love, and that you care about me.

Finally, thank you all so much for the kind words, support and advice. It means so much to me, and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, knowing that I have a support system when I need it. I hope that in turn, I can - and will be able to - do the same when you need it.

I love you all - thank you for being here! :-D
hiddenmuse: (Gay Agenda)
Last night, I came out to my mom, while I was making arrangements for the holidays.

I'm not sure how it happened exactly beyond, "she asked, I told". She told me several times that she still loves me unconditionally, but she does not condone my "lifestyle", and does not want "it" in her house - especially since my sister is 16 years old.

What does that mean? Well, when Kellie and I go to St. Louis, we are going to stay in a hotel. Out of respect for my mom's wishes and also to allow everyone keep their sanity.

I'm sure that my mom will have so many questions - and I'll have to find out how to answer them all. But I will definitely let her know that I am still the same daughter that she's known and loved all these years. Nothing has changed beyone who I am sharing my life with.

It does bother me some that my mom doesn't want "it" in her house - what is she talking about anyways? That she doesn't want the queerness in her house, afraid that it is contagious or something? Is she afraid that we'll "convert" my sister? That we'll be obnoxious, flamboyant and in everyone's faces?

Whatever it is, I will probably find out soon enough. Right now, I'm just feeling so many things, I don't know where to start. I'm still reeling from the fact that it happened, and that my mom didn't yell at me - and I was the one doing all the crying.


hiddenmuse: (Default)

January 2017



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