I hope that this is a joke ...

[hiddenmuse]

Regardless, it's really fucking funny.

A Christian Fundie group - Love Gods Way - has a section of their website that lists "Gay Bands" and "Safe Bands".

So, who - or what - has been deemed to be a "Gay Band"? Well, there's some of the usual suspects (Elton John, k.d. lang, Indigo Girls) as well as some not-so-usual (Wilco, Jay-Z, and Frank Sinatra). The full list - typos and vague coding included - is under the cut.


The Spores (endorse suicide)
Scissor Sisters
Turbonegro
Rufus Wainwright
Merzbau
Ravi Shankar
The Butchies (lizbians)
Wilco
Bjork (mb)
Tech N9ne
Ghostface Killah
Bobby Conn
Morton Subotnik
Cole Porter
The String Cheese Incident
Eagles of Death Metal
Polyphonic Spree
The Faint
Interpol
Twisted Sister (jj)
Tegan and Sara
Erasure
The Grateful Dead (drugs too)
Le Tigre
Marilyn Manson (dark gay)
The Gossip
The Magnetic Fields
The Doors
Phish
Queen
The Strokes
Morrissey (?questionable?)
Metallica (complete with photoshopped pics of Lars and Kirk)
Judas Priest
The Village People
The Secret Handshake
The Rolling Stones
David Bowie
Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Man or Astroman
Richard Cheese
Jay-Z
Depeche Mode
Kansas
Ani DiFranco
Fischerspooner
John Mayer
George Michael (texan)
Angel Eyes
The Indigo Girls
Velvet Underground
Madonna
Elton John
Barry Manilow
Indigo Girls {sic}
Melissa Etheridge
Eminmen {sic}
Nirvana
Boy George*
The Killers
Lou Reed
Lil' Wayne
Motorhead
Jill Sobule
Wilson Phillips
DMX
Wesley Willis {hey now, leave a dead man out of this!}
Lisa Loeb
Ted Nugent (loincloth)
Dogstar
Thirty Seconds to Mars
Lil' Kim
k.d. lang
Frank Sinatra
Hinder
Nickelback
Justus Kohncke
Bob Mould
Clay Aiken
{The} Arcade Fire
Bright Eyes
Corinne Bailey Rae
Audioslave
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Panic At The Disco
The Cure (makeup)
Spin Doctors
The Deers
Lindsey Lohan
The Smiths
Beck
Tom Waits
The Cramps
Cannibal Corpse
Britney Spears (kissed Madonna)
Perfect Sin
The Queers
NoFx (gay punk)
Soup Dragons
Elton John (really gay) {sic}



These bands you can take home to Mother, apparently.

Sufjan Stevens (at request of publisher)
The Right Brothers (Bush was right!)
Dresden Dolls
UnderOath
Blondie**
Cyndi Lauper
Falling Up
Flyleaf
THE TURNING
Disciple
P.O.D.
Evanescense
By The Tree
Scott Reed
Michael W. Smith
Jars Of Clay
DC Talk
Danielson
Cheap Trick

Oh my G*d, I wish I were making this shit up. Still, the LULZ really made it worth the page view(s) I was giving that jackass.

Comments

[bexone.livejournal.com]

Morrissey is questionable?

...I can't even get past that. WOW.


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TED NUGENT.

thank you, crazy fundies, for giving me my daily cardio laugh workout.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

I know, right? The Nuge on the Gay List? Just for that, he'll go out and bow-hunt for a couple of days to prove his straightness.

And yes, it was definitely a cardio laugh workout in our apartment - probably the most that I've laughed this week!

[honeybearbee.livejournal.com]

I...just...what the hell?

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

I know, right? I wasn't sure whether to laugh or feel sorry for the dude. So, I did both, with emphasis on laughing hysterically.

[honeybearbee.livejournal.com]

I have to tell you, I despise the website. It's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. And I've read bad!fic.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the website made my eyes hurt - and the guy's message (as well as his obvious self-hatred) made it even worse!

I'd much rather take being forced to read really bad Mary Sue fics than having to look at the site anymore than necessary (about 3 minutes).

[honeybearbee.livejournal.com]

It's just such a nasty message. *kicks that guy*

*nods* I'd rather read 50 million bad!fics then go to that site again.

[phillyword.livejournal.com]

i find it amusing that the dresden dolls (who toured with panic - who are on the bad list ZOMG - a few years back, if i remember correctly) are on the list. i find it even MORE amusing that cyndi lauper is on the list, since she's a total supporter of GLBT causes. hi, true colors tour? hehe. yeah, i'd love to see some of these parents who run this website take their kids to the true colors tour! that'd be AWESOME!!!

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

No doubt! Someone I know said that she was also surprised to see Dresden Dolls on the list - because of their song "First Orgasm".

And the families that look at the site? Yeah, if they went to see the True Colors tour, they'd freak out over being surrounded by Teh Gayness ... because, you know, you can become gay by just listening to the music and/or being in the same room with them!!

[sigmaration.livejournal.com]

So, there are a couple interesting things about this. First, the "gay" list is about twice as long as the "safe" list. Second, there are many gay people on the "gay" list, which seems legitimate. But some of the bands on the "gay" list seem... odd. But the funniest part is the parentheses. Some don't make any sense at all. Some are totally hysterical.

For example, what is a "lizbian"? And why did they feel the need to (rightly) point out that the Butchies (besides being totally awesome) are "lizbians", but neglected to point this out for kd lang, Melissa Etheridge, Indigo Girls (either time they were on the list), The Gossip (whose lead singer, besides being a total hottie and an incredible singer, is a lesbian), Teagan and Sara, Le Tigre, or Ani DiFranco?

What the hell is a "dark gay". As opposed to a light gay? And, btw, Marilyn Manson is straight.

There is nothing questionable about Morrissey.

Kansas? Dust in the Wind advances a gay agenda? Is the dust in the wind gay?

Ted Nugent's loincloth is enough to get you on here? If you wear a loincloth, you're pushing a gay agenda?

But my absolute favorite is the (texan) next to George Michael. With all the overwhelming material one could point to in support of George being gay, having gay sex in public restrooms, etc. They are really going with (texan) as an explanation as to why he's on the gay list? Are all texans gay? Someone better tell W.

I also love how Elton John and Indigo Girls are on there twice. I guess because, as the list notes, Elton is "really gay" (like there are degrees) and there are two women in Indigo Girls.

But the "Safe" list isn't a lot better. Blondie?!? Cyndi Lauper? The same Cyndi Lauper who wrote a song about female masturbation and now headlines and organizes the True Colors tour -- all with gay and gay-friendly bands? The tour that is promoted in every gay magazine and on Logo all day long? Yeah, she's totally safe.

[annie-bean.livejournal.com]

HELL YES! obviously some of my favorite music are GAY!! that makes me stupidly giggly..lol

people spend WAY too much time labelling people and bands..*shakes head*

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

Same here! Kellie and I were talking about the exclusion of our favorite gayest straight boy EVAR - Pete Wentz. Do Joe, Patrick and Andy somehow negate Pete's overwhelming gayness? (I keeed ... but still, Pete sets gaydars off like nobody's business)

[annie-bean.livejournal.com]

Pete Wentz is the gayest gay EVAR! especially when he's draping himself all over Patrick and blowing Mikeyway!! but it's possible that joe, andy and patrick) negate pete's gayness..and then there is gerard! he is a prancy little princess! he basically has sex with frankie on stage, groping him and mikey!!

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

And you know, besides Gerard being a "prancy little princess" (love that description ... and now, I have a mental image of Gerard in his band major's jacket and a tutu), they are also a "suicide cult band" (http://idolator.com/392776/my-chemical-romance-fans-to-protest-daily-mail-emophobia) apparently. (Never would've guessed that one ... lol)

[pfor.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah. I saw this a really long time ago and printed it out and showed it to all of my friends and we laughed. Most people tend to be surprised MyChem isn't on it xD

But that guy pisses me off. He's in some shitty band and they have a song called 'God Hates Fags' or whatever. D; Obviously, he's not listening to most people's interpretations of Christianity were people are taught that God loves everyone despite their sins. People like him are the reason that I don't like identifying as a Christian because it's come to the point where a lot of people will automatically associate one Christian, who is intensely supportive of gay/lesbian/pro-choice etc couples/people, with people like him.

(On a not ranting note (and sorry for that by the way xD ), I get the best laughs about Hinder and Nickleback. Most of their songs are about women xD )

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

No worries about the rant - I feel the same way towards the batshit crazy wing of Christianity. It's really sad that someone like that exists to make the rest of us, who are sane and civilized and you know, try to do right by others - look as bad as him. I'm sure that his head would *explode* if he knew that there are queer Christians in the world.

Yeah, some of the listed bands are ridiculous - like it's someone's way of trying to "ban" the musicians they don't like (Audioslave and Metallica, anyone?), and looking seriously out of touch at the same time.

[season.livejournal.com]

i've always thought of nickelback as being really really frat boy straight.

how come christina aguilera isn't on this list? she kissed madonna too!

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

I've always thought the same about Nickelback - straighter than straight. And I'm kind of surprised that Christina didn't make the list, too. Maybe it's because her kiss with Madonna wasn't broadcast as much as Britney's!

[(Anonymous)]

But both kisses happend at the same event, in quick succession to each other!

So. Much. Dumb. (not you, that website)

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

I think what I meant to say was that people made more of a to-do over Britney kissing Madonna, because Christina was in that "Dirrrty" stage - so it was like, "oh yeah, whatever ... she could gang-bang Madonna and her entourage and it wouldn't shock anyone".

And it's good to know that I'm not dumb! :-)

[kittygrenade.livejournal.com]

I am honestly surprised to see that Fall Out Boy isn't under the "Gay Bands". The bassist fondels their lead singer on stage all the time! xD

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

Exactly!

Yeah, Pete's always touchy-feely with Patrick (best friend? HA!), and that eyeliner? Total queerball, that one. ;-)

[kittygrenade.livejournal.com]

Pete's "Gay Above the Waist" does not apply to Patrick! xD
Oh! And the girls pants, you can't forget about those!

[princessmeesh.livejournal.com]

Cyndi Lauper sang a song about getting off. Maybe they don't know that...

[thefullspectrum.livejournal.com]

Oh, dude, I think I've seen this website before and it's either not a 'joke site' or it's a joke done well but um, I'm not sure what a band/singer has to do to qualify to be on the 'Gay' list but maaaan, I think the creator of the site has a long way to go before listing down ALL the 'Unsafe' bands of the world XD

On a more serious note though, this reminds me of something I read that if Jesus were to come back reincarnated in our present day, he would be most likely killed by, ironically enough, the Christians themselves because back when he was still alive, he apparently hung out with today's equivalent of prostitutes, pimps and gangsters and was somewhat of a radical in his day.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

I have a funny feeling that the guy running the website is doing it in all seriousness - and he'd be busy for the next 10 years or so listing "unsafe" bands.

And I agree with whomever it was that made the comment about Jesus being killed by the Christians because of the people he associates with. Because God (ha!) forbid that he actually show love for *everyone* - and not just the holier-than-thou fundies.

[ex-sarcasti.livejournal.com]

this makes me gag
seriously...

ACK!

[fobulouso.livejournal.com]

LOL@ Britney and Clay being on the same list

And, ok, so I can comprehend how DC Talk is on the safe list, but the DRESDEN DOLLS?! Lmfaoooooo

What also really bugs the shit out of me is that this guy is being all "GOD HATES FAGS"

Um, first of all, use a proper word. Second of all, I thought God loved err'one? ):

This makes me sad, and I'm as straight as a flagpole.

:(

just browsing, you dont know me :)

[xcrushedvelvet1.livejournal.com]

I cant believe some of the "safe" bands how are they any different than the gay ones?

Also LOL @ the killers being a "gay band" as a couple of the members are mormon and married to mormons and they started considered a "christian" band.

nirvana?
david bowie?
ok...