For those about to debate ...

So I managed to get to 40 pretty well intact - no broken bones or anything.  (Yay!)

My birthday was pretty good!  I went out the weekend before and did what I'd wanted to do for a long while, something that I'd contemplated doing for my 40th birthday: I got my nipples pierced.

I did it for a couple of reasons: 1) to celebrate a milestone birthday and, 2) to get "okay" with a part of my body that I never particularly liked. Having developed pretty early (and quickly) - in addition to being a fat girl - I always thought my breasts looked weird, since they were kind of saggy compared to my friends'. Also my nipples weren't those cute little perky things you'd see in Playboy or on late night Cinemax films, so that made me feel even more self-conscious.

When I'd gotten to college and saw a few guy friends with pierced nipples, I was intrigued. Then I heard them telling me that it took several months to heal, and that it could be more painful for girls. Knowing that I'd have pretty sensitive tits thanks to PMS, I got scared off by that idea. But it did kind of hang out in the back of my mind.

As I got older and into my 30s, when I started getting into body piercing, I started to consider getting my nipples pierced again. But the fear of the pain is what kept holding me back - not necessarily the piercing itself, I'd endured cartilage piercings so pain wasn't much of an issue. It was again the PMS and sore tits thing.

At least several months before my 40th birthday, I decided that I would get my nipples pierced as a present to myself. As the time got closer, I was vacillating on it, thinking about waiting for the fall or perhaps the year's end to do it. Then, in the week or so prior, I just said "fuck it, I'm doing this." I'd done my research, so I had an idea of what to expect when I was pierced; what bra I should wear, that I should have panty liners in my bra in case there's any bleeding or leakage; get pierced with barbells, not rings; etc. etc.

I went to my favorite shop - Body Manipulations - filled out the paperwork, and waited with several other people who were also getting various parts pierced. One other girl was getting her nipples done as well, so it wasn't like I was the only person! (I'd found out about the other girl because the owner (Paul), who was piercing people that day, came out to discuss bead sizes with me. Apparently the jewelry they were using required a bigger bead, and he wanted to make sure that I'd be okay with that - I told him that since I had pretty big boobs, it wouldn't be an issue for me!)

When it was my turn, I talked to my piercer - Alex - about why I was doing this, he thought it was a cool reason and a good gift. After I was marked and cleaned up, it was piercing time. I used some breathing exercises I'd learned during therapy to help me focus and stay calm. Right nipple pierced, I teared up because there was some pain and also because there was an odd feeling of release. A couple of minutes later, and onto my left one. This time, I just let out this almost primal cry. And afterwards, I was on an endorphin high from it which was totally unexpected and kind of ridiculous.

Lying on the table it took me several minutes to come down, but when I was "with it" enough to sit up straight, I felt like walking out of the shop topless and parading around to show off my decorated nipples! Paul came around and complimented me on the piercings, said that they looked good; Alex said that I did great, handing the piercing itself very well.

For about a half-hour, I felt no pain. But when it hit, hoo boy, it came on hard! I spent the first couple of nights sleeping with ice packs on my chest because I was so sore (turns out that I'd get my period a few days later...oh fun). The pain seemed to go away after a week, but they get sore if I bump them on something or sleep on them weird.

But I really like the piercings. They make my breasts seem "pretty" and I like that because they're not as obvious as I'd thought/feared (I was concerned that it would be perpetual nipple hard-ons - it's not), it's like my little secret under my clothes. That nice girl is pierced up, and wouldn't you like to know where?