Brain-Washing is use #19

[hiddenmuse]

Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap, while it (and its 18 uses) works great for cleaning my piercing - especially after Provon Soap seemed to cause a possible allergic reaction - has the funkiest label. Ever.

This is how the label reads on my Lavender/Hemp Castile Soap bottle: Absolute cleanliness is Godliness! Teach the Moral ABC that unites all mankind free, instantly 6 billion strong & we're All One. "Listen Children Eternal Father Eternally One!"


The second coming of God's Law! Mohammed's Arabs, 1948, found Israel Essene Scrolls & Einstein's "Hillel" prove that as no 6 year old can grow up free without the ABC, so certain can no 12 year old survive free without the Moral ABC mason, tent & sandalmaker Rabbi Hillel taught carpenter Jesus to unite all mankind free in our Eternal Father's Great-All-One-God-Faith! For we're All-One or none: "Listen Children Eternal Father Eternally One!"

Dilute: Enjoy 1/2 oz. soap with 2 gals. or sinkful hot water. Enjoy one soap for 18 different uses! Guaranteed no synthetic lavender oils & 100% vegetarian: Super-mild castile soap has outstanding water softening & cleansing powers, preferable to harsh soap & defattening synthetics. It does not cut dirt, but dissolves it. It is the mildest, most pleasant soap you ever used or money back! Enjoy sink body rub to stimulate body-mind-soul-spirit and teach Hillel's Essene Moral ABC Uniting All Free in the African Shepherd Israel's Great All-One-God-Faith!

Enjoy only two cosmetics, enough sleep & Dr. Bronner's 'Magic Soap' to clean body-mind-soul-spirit instantly uniting One! All-One! Absolute cleanliness is Godliness! For facial packs, scalp and soothing body rub, add dash on bath towel in sink of hot water. Wring out. Lay over face & scalp. Massage with fingertips. Repeat 3 or 4 times 'til arms, legs and all are rubbed, always toward the heart. Rinse towel in plain hot water and massage again. Breathe deeply! Health is Wealth. Within 9 minutes you can feel fresh and clean, saving you 90% of your hot water & soap, ready to help teach the whole Human race the Moral ABC of All-One-God-Faith! For we're All-One or None! All-One! All-One! All-One!

And this doesn't include "God Our Eternal Father" by Rudyard Kipling, adapted by Bronner.

Like I said - good stuff. Freaky-ass label. Talk amongst yourselves.

Comments

[zigme.livejournal.com]

More information about Dr. Bonner: http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_386.html

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

Thanks for sharing that! Doc Bronner really was a nutcase (funny farm and all)! Probably believed all of his own lunatic ravings, too ... heh

[mediaanarchist.livejournal.com]

yay for saying something about Dr. B bottles. zomg the label's my favorite part! I always have something crazy to read in the shower. (btw the peppermint is super tingly) AND the bottles have some different stuff if it's the small bottle or the big bottle.

My favorite line is: "For on God's spaceship Earth, with Bomb & Gun, we're all one or None!" the spaceship Earth sends it way over the top for me.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh - I'll have to look at the big bottles! I've just been using the small one (in case I was allergic to it, too) - and I may end up getting a bigger one, just to have it in the house!

And you know ... the Spaceship Earth comment must've inspired L. Ron Hubbard to create Scientology. "Ye Gods! Yes, that's perfect! Earth is a Spaceship ... full of billion year old Thetans!"

[mediaanarchist.livejournal.com]

hahaha and here I assumed it was due to so many failed book deals.

yeah that's the thing I keep moving it back and forth between cleaning and my shower. feels weird.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

You know, I looked at my bottle of the Peppermint soap that I have at the office ... and it had the "Spaceship Earth" ramblings. I almost died laughing when I saw it!