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hiddenmuseAmerican Idol - Decimated, for your reading pleasure
Last night's American Idol was a total fiasco, was it not? The biggest one being Ace "I am a Soulless Pod Person" Young wanting to re-arrange "We Will Rock You".
Memo to Ace: (a) You are a mere peon, compared to Brian May and Roger Taylor ... you DO NOT even think to suggest re-arranging that song. EVER. Freddy Mercury's cremains should've come around in a dust storm to choke you to death.
(b) "We Will Rock You" is to be *chanted*, or at the least, performed while stomping around like you're an old-school punk ... or a drunk frat boy. NO singing allowed, jackass. Those cremains should make a return engagement to bitch-slap you for that ... as well as Brian and Roger giving you a sound beating after your performance.
(c) Paula Abdul is starting to re-consider wanting to shtup you senseless once the competition is over. For serious. And the Ghost of Freddy Mercury is waiting in the alley to strangle you with his mic stand.
And Bucky singing "Fat Bottomed Girls"? For Shame!! That should've been Mandisa, fucking owning that song. Oh, wait ... since she's purportedly aligned with anti-queer people (and an ex-gay ministry), she may not be so up with singing about getting life and love at the hands of another woman. So ... maybe not. Still. It wasn't happening.
Finally, Chris. At first, I was loving him. Loved his bad-boy, "Vin Diesel before the AK-47s Gun Show" look. Then, he opened his mouth, and started singing. Every song, every genre - sounded like he was trying to sing the damn songs in some angsty rock-metal boy style. Like James Hetfield on a heavy dose of Prozac and Brandon Boyd (Incubus) decided to have a child together ... and it grew up to be Chris.
But, enough of that ... I'm going to hang out and wait for the next episode of AI to come on ... and see who wound up on the chopping block this week.
Last night's American Idol was a total fiasco, was it not? The biggest one being Ace "I am a Soulless Pod Person" Young wanting to re-arrange "We Will Rock You".
Memo to Ace: (a) You are a mere peon, compared to Brian May and Roger Taylor ... you DO NOT even think to suggest re-arranging that song. EVER. Freddy Mercury's cremains should've come around in a dust storm to choke you to death.
(b) "We Will Rock You" is to be *chanted*, or at the least, performed while stomping around like you're an old-school punk ... or a drunk frat boy. NO singing allowed, jackass. Those cremains should make a return engagement to bitch-slap you for that ... as well as Brian and Roger giving you a sound beating after your performance.
(c) Paula Abdul is starting to re-consider wanting to shtup you senseless once the competition is over. For serious. And the Ghost of Freddy Mercury is waiting in the alley to strangle you with his mic stand.
And Bucky singing "Fat Bottomed Girls"? For Shame!! That should've been Mandisa, fucking owning that song. Oh, wait ... since she's purportedly aligned with anti-queer people (and an ex-gay ministry), she may not be so up with singing about getting life and love at the hands of another woman. So ... maybe not. Still. It wasn't happening.
Finally, Chris. At first, I was loving him. Loved his bad-boy, "Vin Diesel before the AK-47s Gun Show" look. Then, he opened his mouth, and started singing. Every song, every genre - sounded like he was trying to sing the damn songs in some angsty rock-metal boy style. Like James Hetfield on a heavy dose of Prozac and Brandon Boyd (Incubus) decided to have a child together ... and it grew up to be Chris.
But, enough of that ... I'm going to hang out and wait for the next episode of AI to come on ... and see who wound up on the chopping block this week.
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Date: 2006-04-13 03:28 am (UTC)Ace is such a cunt.
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Date: 2006-04-14 01:32 am (UTC)