Written on the eve on my 29th birthday (2002)

Apologies to the author of "When I Am Old, I Will Wear Purple" and the author of the parody, "When I Am Old, I Will Wear Plaid"





When I Am Old, I Will Join A Nudist Colony


Yes, I will join a Nudist Colony when I'm in my 70s.
When I'm too old to care about letting it all hang out - because it hangs out, no matter what I may try.
My neices, nephews and other assorted family members will deny knowing me.
Rather than listening to Barenaked Ladies, I will be a Barenaked Lady.
By the time I am old, I'd probably be as cynical and smart-assed as ever.
Joining a nudist colony, I would have no sleeve upon which to display my heart.
I refuse to be crotchety and cranky when I am old.
You all have my permission to slap me if I do turn crotchety and cranky.
Rather than wear purple when I am old, I will wear purple now.
Rather than wait until I am old to wear plaid, I will wear plaid now.

For when I am old, I will join a nudist colony.