(no subject)

They say that the truth hurts - and it seems to especially hurt when it comes in the form of another person experiencing an isolated incident of the moods that you live with on a regular basis.

When you see someone hurting in a way that you've hurt, it's scary as hell, because you're seeing a less-than-stellar side of your personality being reflected in them. You're seeing what they've seen - and probably still see on a regular basis. It's hard to witness that, so hard.

I don't know what to say, afraid that if I say the wrong thing, both of us will seem to go over the edge to the other person. I'll over-react to this person's perfectly normal reaction to their experience, which will only cause things to spiral into weirdness.

And that is never cool.

And I just want to say that I'm sorry to the person that I may have hurt from my misunderstandings today. I can be as much of a self-absorbed idiot as anyone else, and I'm sorry if I'd upset you in any way. I love you. :)

Strange Dreams - and other stuff

Last night, I had the strangest dreams.

One dream involved my somehow inheriting a kitten and three puppies. The kitten looked a lot like our Resident Cat, Cleo (a twink-y red tabby - ever the boy diva), and the puppies were a beagle pup, a black lab pup, and I don't remember what the breed of the 3d pup was, unfortunately.

Anyways, it was strange, because while I thought the new pets were just adorable, the only thing I could think was, "Oh God, I have to get them to a shelter! I can't have another cat and 3 dogs in the apartment!!" So, I spent the course of my dream scurrying about, spending my time engaging in kitten and puppy-herding.

Thinking about it, it's interesting that I'd dream of beagle and lab pups - especially since our family lost a beagle pup recently (heartworms - 2 months old), and a black lab pup over a year ago (Parvo virus - 6 months old). To my knowledge, Mr. Cleo is in good health, except for mild acne and occasional sneezing fits - not bad for 7 years old, you know?


In terms of other stuff, I'm trying to get back to eating people food. In other words, something besides an Ulcer Patient's Diet. Breakfast was a bagel bun with maybe a tablespoon of cream cheese from Specialty's (it was fresh, and smelled sweet and yeasty - very good stuff, indeed). At lunchtime, I was feeling a bit cavalier, so I went to Briazz Café for a baked potato (in lieu of my original plan to go to Specialty's for corn chowder and a vegan salad) with vegetarian chili on top.

The baked potato was big and yummy, with some most excellent fat-free vegetarian chili (chock-full of beans, carrots, celery and other goodness - but not screamingly spicy) and cheddar cheese on top. Oh heaven, it was so good, and so filling. Yes, I do have the Pepto-Bismol at the ready, just in case my body revolts against that bold move on my part, and I do have a bottle of Ginger Ale and some fat-free Saltines at my desk, just in case.


Finally, I ended up coming out to a co-worker during lunch today. When I was talking with our new Commercial account manager about living in the City, he'd mentioned that he had lived in the Castro, before moving to another part of the City - as well as talking about how he and his partner had had 2 cars when they'd moved in together, but have since reduced down to one car.

In the course of the conversation, he asked if I lived in the City, and I said that I did, as well as mentioning that while I didn't have a car personally, my partner did, and it seemed like the only times that she drives it are when it has to be moved for street cleaning.

So, yeah, I kinda-sorta came out to someone at work. And I'm not the only queer one around here, it seems. :) I just think I'll stay with living my life as I do - no real need to be flamboyant or obvious about my sexuality, you know?