The End Of An Era

My reason for doing some of the things I do is quite hard to explain. I think sometimes, I could be starting to work on something, then it triggers me about something else ... and I'm off working on another thing altogether. To put it simply, I seem to have no attention span whatsoever.

Today is no exception. I was at work, looking through my deleted e-mails for an address, when it struck me that maybe I should get rid of the games of e-mail tag I'd played with an ex-girlfriend while I was at work.

It was kind of cathartic, really. "bye-bye, Nic ... it was fun, but I need someone more mature, not as emotionally demanding, someone that doesn't have a boyfriend, goddammit."

Actually, it was an emotionally neutral experience for me. Just like "delete, delete, delete", scroll up, delete some more. But, I thought about my relationship with her for a minute. How my best friend had met Nic and thought she was okay, but annoying after a while. (Which was true)

I'm not saying that I'm the perfect girlfriend - because I'm definitely not. But I don't know ... it felt kind of good to delete those e-mails, to say in my head, "that's the end of this chapter in my Life Story. Turn the page & start again. Some of the same players, a few new ones."

And if you know who Nic is - big deal. I dated her for a time. She had a boyfriend at the time we were together. Now you know - and I don't care. She probably wouldn't care if anyone knows that I'm admitting to being with her at one time.

Some girls need/want/whatever to have a My First Alternative Girlfriend/My First Bisexual/Lesbian Relationship - and this time, I was it. It happens. Maybe someday I won't be the My First Lesbian Girlfriend, or the Turtle Wax - as Kellie had once put it so eloquently.

Speak of the Devil

Here we go again - venting time.

Speaking of ex-girlfriends ... I went to catch up on a message board I post at, and she decided to take my sarcasm & use it as a point to go off on some tirade against me.

I wanted so badly to tell her to fuck off, but decided that it wouldn't be a smart thing to do, and would only prove that I'm good at condescending to her level. Especially since she was off dredging up shit that was discussed months ago. I have moved on to better things than some half-cocked minutiae from a debate-cum-argument held however long ago it was.

Still, it just irritated the hell out of me (then again, at this time of the month, if I'm not horny, I'm bitchy or crying...). So it may seem like I'm letting others fight my fights or do my dirty work, but I'm staying out of it. I may gripe about it here, but I refuse to have it out with her on a message board. I've better things to do than start a flame war with someone.

That's all for now - I've spoken my peace. I feel better. Thanks for hearing me out, if you've read this.

*hugs & kisses ... even a quick shag for putting up with me* ;)

Friends

{No, not that show I only have a marginal interest in...}

Rather than bitching about life, I will write about something good for once. My friends - the ones that keep me on a relatively even keel, the people that have seen me when I'm not at my best, seen me at my best, and still stick around.

I write chapters about Kellie - you'd probably think she's the only friend I have or something ... so it's time I talk about the others I know and love (or at least like a lot).

Shawn - one of the many reasons I should visit California sometime. I mean, besides Nessa (in Anaheim), Kellie, my fave sex shops - Good Vibrations & Blowfish, and the fact that I've never been to California. Shawn is someone that if I'm having a godawful, 'just kill me now' sort of day, he comes around and I can't help but smile. That is, when he doesn't have me almost blushing with his kind words. The fact that he hears a Barenaked Ladies song and says that he thought of me ... that's really sweet, in my mind. :)

Josh - Another cool, funny guy friend. Someone I should get off my slacker ass & write to again soon. I've mentioned him before, talked about how he's also a sweet guy. One of my Smut Mavens - someone that really likes my stories, and likes talking to me. And, I like talking to him, too.

Nessa - My partner in crime. We'd met on a BNL fan board that seemed to have a heirarchy that rivals only Metallica fans. (Yes, apparently there are only 10 people in the world that are *TRUE* Barenaked Ladies fans. And they like to remind you that they are true fans, and *you* are scum of the earth for getting into *their* band as far into the game as you did. Even if it was in '92.) Still, we bonded thanks to that common enemy, and found that we had more than just that band of fully-dressed Canadian Men in common (although, honestly, would you listen to a band called "Fully-Dressed Men"? Probably not).

My fellow Smut Mavens on the "Adult Fanfic" board (aka - the porn ghetto) - yes, we were exiled to our own corner of the 'net for being bad bad girls (and a boy) and writing hot smut and slash. Before anyone lights into us for writing what we do, let me speak in defense of my Mavens: most of us are in relationships, a few are married with families. So, we're obviously pretty well grounded in reality. Even if I probably am the token bisexual of the group. (Something they don't know about me ... methinks they'd be a bit surprised that one of their own likes girls and guys.)


And, of course, I can't forget you - the readers! :-D You wouldn't be reading this unless you wanted to, right? And if you're reading this - thanks for being around.

Now, I get to annoy you all with quizzes!

I WAS A GIFTED CHILD
i had my niche.
intelligent. creative. or artistic.
what kind of child were you?
(brought you by april)


I always did like Slippery Soap on "Blue's Clues" ;)



I'm Bath Soap!
Everybody needs me! Some more than others.

Both men and women just seem to rip their clothes off

whenever I'm near.

Go me!

Take the

What Kind Of Soap Are YOU? quiz @ The Quiz Blog @
Door.nu

Lust? Me? Yeah ... I'd believe it. *smirk*