The End Of An Era
Aug. 12th, 2002 07:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hiddenmuseMy reason for doing some of the things I do is quite hard to explain. I think sometimes, I could be starting to work on something, then it triggers me about something else ... and I'm off working on another thing altogether. To put it simply, I seem to have no attention span whatsoever.
Today is no exception. I was at work, looking through my deleted e-mails for an address, when it struck me that maybe I should get rid of the games of e-mail tag I'd played with an ex-girlfriend while I was at work.
It was kind of cathartic, really. "bye-bye, Nic ... it was fun, but I need someone more mature, not as emotionally demanding, someone that doesn't have a boyfriend, goddammit."
Actually, it was an emotionally neutral experience for me. Just like "delete, delete, delete", scroll up, delete some more. But, I thought about my relationship with her for a minute. How my best friend had met Nic and thought she was okay, but annoying after a while. (Which was true)
I'm not saying that I'm the perfect girlfriend - because I'm definitely not. But I don't know ... it felt kind of good to delete those e-mails, to say in my head, "that's the end of this chapter in my Life Story. Turn the page & start again. Some of the same players, a few new ones."
And if you know who Nic is - big deal. I dated her for a time. She had a boyfriend at the time we were together. Now you know - and I don't care. She probably wouldn't care if anyone knows that I'm admitting to being with her at one time.
Some girls need/want/whatever to have a My First Alternative Girlfriend/My First Bisexual/Lesbian Relationship - and this time, I was it. It happens. Maybe someday I won't be the My First Lesbian Girlfriend, or the Turtle Wax - as Kellie had once put it so eloquently.
Today is no exception. I was at work, looking through my deleted e-mails for an address, when it struck me that maybe I should get rid of the games of e-mail tag I'd played with an ex-girlfriend while I was at work.
It was kind of cathartic, really. "bye-bye, Nic ... it was fun, but I need someone more mature, not as emotionally demanding, someone that doesn't have a boyfriend, goddammit."
Actually, it was an emotionally neutral experience for me. Just like "delete, delete, delete", scroll up, delete some more. But, I thought about my relationship with her for a minute. How my best friend had met Nic and thought she was okay, but annoying after a while. (Which was true)
I'm not saying that I'm the perfect girlfriend - because I'm definitely not. But I don't know ... it felt kind of good to delete those e-mails, to say in my head, "that's the end of this chapter in my Life Story. Turn the page & start again. Some of the same players, a few new ones."
And if you know who Nic is - big deal. I dated her for a time. She had a boyfriend at the time we were together. Now you know - and I don't care. She probably wouldn't care if anyone knows that I'm admitting to being with her at one time.
Some girls need/want/whatever to have a My First Alternative Girlfriend/My First Bisexual/Lesbian Relationship - and this time, I was it. It happens. Maybe someday I won't be the My First Lesbian Girlfriend, or the Turtle Wax - as Kellie had once put it so eloquently.
