hiddenmuse | Media Rant

or, "How am I supposed to remember ... when you won't let me forget"

I should preface this by saying that I will fully admit to being cynical and almost jaded. This isn't meant to offend anyone that was directly affected by the events - it's just my coming out and speaking my mind.

As much as we depend on the media to keep us abreast of what's going on, the media sickens me sometimes. The whole 9/11 thing is crammed down our throats so much, making me hate Americana and patriotic symbolism.

"We Will Never Forget"
Yeah, as long as you keep showing the imagery and reminding us on a near-interminable basis that we aren't the idyllic, infalliable country we thought we were - there's no way in hell we can forget, goddammit.

It got to where all I saw were American flags all over the fucking place. Made me want to go out, put one on the ground and then burn it - because it touched the ground, and is therefore rendered useless. (Oh the joys of having been a Girl Scout) American flags on babies' asses, American flags on imported gas guzzlers and elephant killers (SUVs), American flags tattooed into flesh.

Where was I when it happened? I was at work. One of our producers called & told me that a plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Center towers. I thought he was trying to pull my leg. Then a little while later, someone else in the office said that a second plane had crashed into the second tower. It was one of the only times that using the 'net was allowed - and all the news websites were crammed & unavailable. ABC, NPR, BBC ... you name it, it was inaccessible.

My girlfriend at the time could look out her window and see the sky, dark and ominous in the daytime hours. It freaked her out, and I became her source of strength for the time I was at work, until she had to go to work herself. I tried to keep my sense of humour about other things, tried to avoid talking about what had just happened.

We got off work early that day. We're in St. Louis, in the middle of the country, nowhere near being directly affected. I didn't really know of anyone in NYC - nor did anyone else at work. But for some reason, we got out early. Perhaps so we could join the rout to buy American flags and unearth our Memorial Day/Flag Day/Independence Day tchotchkes or something. I ended up going to a club to get tickets for The Proclaimers show the next month. Then, I came home & talked with some friends online. Well, people I used to call friends. Tragedy was causing them to put aside whatever differences there were to actually pretend to be civil to each other for an afternoon.

What happened was sad, we never thought it could happen to us - but it did. We got knocked onto our asses, reminded of our mortality. Our falliability. Our humanity. How tenuous human life can be.

As the months went along, some of the flags came down from near-permanent display, people deciding to move on and live their lives. You have to acheive closure at some point in time. You have to move on and continue your life. You can't live in fear forever, or else the people that wanted to petrify us with fear have won.

That's all I have to say. Thanks for reading this - if you got past my initial disclaimer. :)