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hiddenmuseAs a (dis)service to you all, I present a list of the following things no insurance geek wants to hear when you're calling in an auto claim. If you're apprehensive about reading these, I promise, they are funny. And not in that "only Carly and her fellow insurance geeks would get it" way, either.
Actual Statements from Claim Forms
1) Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
2) The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
3) I thought my window was down but found out it was up when I put my head through it.
4) I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
5) A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
6) A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
7) The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
8) I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
9) In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
10) I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
11) I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
12) I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
13) As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
14) To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
15) My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
16) An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
17) I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.
18) I was sure that the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
19) The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.
20) I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
21) The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
22) I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
23) The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.
1) Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
2) The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
3) I thought my window was down but found out it was up when I put my head through it.
4) I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
5) A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
6) A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
7) The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
8) I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
9) In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
10) I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
11) I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
12) I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
13) As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
14) To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
15) My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
16) An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
17) I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.
18) I was sure that the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
19) The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.
20) I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
21) The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
22) I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
23) The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.
