Running Late

[hiddenmuse]

"I'm late! I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date!"


I tend to have my own sort of OCD - especially when it comes to punctuality. For the longest time, I had no idea where it came from, my preoccupation with being on time. This deranged idea that if I'm late for something, I would be penalized somehow.

Last night, it occurred to me. Well, at least, an incident or so that triggered it. When I was living in St. Louis, I was going to an internist near my office (i.e.; about 10 - 15 minutes by St. Louis's crappy transit system), and on a couple of instances I'd run late for my appointments. When that happened, I would be chastised by the doctor herself for running late ... while she made me wait about 20 minutes to be seen.

In my convoluted little mind, it registered as being made to feel like I was a bad person, that I should've known better than to be late for an appointment.

While I did change internists, because the doctor was a real bitch - and I hated that whole guilt trip thing, the punctuality thing stuck with me. Whether it is to my benefit or detriment, I'm still trying to figure that out. I just know that it seems to only lead to anxiety and fear of being penalized, if I'm even one minute late. And that's not a good thing.

Comments

[gardengnomegeek.livejournal.com]

What a bitch of a doctor! I can definitely see why she would have got it in your head to never be late.

Me, I am often late. Not usually for work or appointments, but just going to pick somebody up or going over to somebody's house or whatever.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I run late for things like meeting someone for lunch, or getting a bus home - and I don't get too antsy in those situations. It's just things like work, appointments, etc. that really get me anxious.

And I love the Vicky T. icon - she's so cute!

[suspiria.livejournal.com]

i have the same freak out about one minute kind of punctuality thing!

i think mine's because when i was little my mom was late for everything. i was always late to school - walking into class in front of everyone blushing. i was always that kid sitting on the curb half an hour after dance class ended with the teacher being like, "um is there someone i should call?"

result = adult-type timeliness neurosis.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

That would certainly do it - there's nothing worse than running late, and being made a spectacle because of it!

If I'd gone through that, I'd feel neurotic, too. All I know is that because of that anxiousness/OCD of mine, it kind of irritates me when people run late - especially when they run chronically late.

[honeybearbee.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I'm the same way. I get up early if I have to be somewhere (like school) and I hate getting up early. I always feel as if I'm going to be late.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks.

I hate getting up early, too. But, I still do it - at least during the week! And since I go into work with Kellie (my partner), we sometimes end up catching a later bus than what I'd want to take, which would get me really anxious - especially if I end up 10-15 minutes late. (I've never had any problems, so it's largely self-inflicted!)

[honeybearbee.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I look at the clock and I know I'm not late, but I worry anyways. Buses freak me out. I don't like them at all and soon I'll have to take one 4 days a week when school starts!