hiddenmuse | the time is coming...

I talked to my mom this evening, and it looks like the end is near.

The doctors (neurologist and nephrologist) advised her that my stepdad's brain function is low - and abnormal, that he would most likely not regain consciousness. They could move his feeding tube from his nose (a naso-gastric (NG) tube) and place it directly in his stomach, then take him off the ventilator - and convert it to a tracheostomy. He'd "live" that way for who knows how long.

But, my mom knew of his wishes, that he didn't want to be that way, be a vegetable for the rest of his life. So, she called the doctors today, and told them to stop dialysis. This would be the most painless way for him to go, a sort of slow poisoning, as his body would not be able to clear out the toxins. Now, it's the whole "hurry up and wait" thing. Will it happen tomorrow? Or will it take a week?

My mom has made the funeral arrangements, so that part is taken care of, if nothing else.

My brother says that they're talking about moving into a smaller place - or maybe even a condo - since the house is "too big" for them. And probably holds far too many memories. He and my sister-in-law are going to have my sister staying with them for a couple of months. Kellie and I are talking about having her come to visit for a few weeks as well. A nice little distraction, I suppose. Especially since, as my brother pointed out, we (my mom, sister-in-law, him and I) have work to keep us distracted - my sister doesn't have that "luxury", she has school (on-line home schooling) and the occasional church activities.

Now, all I can do is remind myself that this is all for the best. That my stepdad will be in a much better place, that his suffering is ending. He will be whole and complete once again. And that's all we could want for him at this point.

Thankfully, before he got to the point he's at now, he did get to share his last words with my mom: "I don't feel so good - I love you"