Dear Tom Cruise ...

It's so nice to see that you've taken such an interest in Psychiatry.

Why do I say this? Because, dear Tomás, you've shot yourself in the foot so many times with your lovely little tirades - you're smart to have another career lined up, just in case acting no longer works out.

Although, I'll let you in on a secret: stay far, far away from Psychiatry. Just a thought. Perhaps you could consider Homeopathic Medicine, or even Chiropractic School. They tend to be more holistic and vitamin-friendly practices.

Love,

"Carlita Bonita"

"Shoulder"-ing responsibility ... all too literally

Yes, after a few days of phone tag between the doctor and I, the diagnosis has been handed down. It turns out that I do, in fact, have a surface tear of a superior tendon on my shoulder, along with swelling, and minor osteoarthritis.

The good news: no surgery. It was caught early enough, and is being treated before it could get worse.

The not so good news: I'll be getting stuck with a harpoon needle full of cortisone a cortisone shot in the shoulder, as well as probably going for physical therapy.


Oh yeah ... to make things *really* interesting, the orthopedist's name is Dr. Belzer. I'll have to resist the temptation to ask if he's related to Richard Belzer and/or tell him that I love Detective Munch's dry wit and rapport with Ice-T on Law And Order: SVU.