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Jun. 24th, 2003 05:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hiddenmuseAlmost one week of being back on the Effexor XR for the eleventy billionth time (or so it feels), and this time, I think I had a lot of things shake me up and remind me of why I should stay on this time.
The biggest had to be the physical side effects of a depressive episode - trouble sleeping (or oversleeping), overeating, feeling absolutely fatigued so easily and the one thing that was like a huge flashing sign: my work performance was slowly and surely going downhill. I was making mistakes, misplacing things, not doing as much work-wise and dreading having to call clients.
The anxiety was nearing paranoia at times, and I was turning into this neurotic bundle of nerves - someone even I wouldn't want to be around.
The biggest realization I've made is that the next time I decide to do something stupid like going off my meds, that next relapse could land me in the hospital, because every episode only gets worse and worse.
I have people that I'm responsible to - people I check in with - basically to let them know that I've been taking my meds, because they are authorized to kick my ass if I don't take my meds. And those people should know that if I don't come around, you CAN hunt my ass down and pester me - even if I'm feeling antisocial.
Now, I must be going - it's almost 6:00 here, and I should get home so I can do laundry and clean up the living room. I'll write more later, I'm sure.
The biggest had to be the physical side effects of a depressive episode - trouble sleeping (or oversleeping), overeating, feeling absolutely fatigued so easily and the one thing that was like a huge flashing sign: my work performance was slowly and surely going downhill. I was making mistakes, misplacing things, not doing as much work-wise and dreading having to call clients.
The anxiety was nearing paranoia at times, and I was turning into this neurotic bundle of nerves - someone even I wouldn't want to be around.
The biggest realization I've made is that the next time I decide to do something stupid like going off my meds, that next relapse could land me in the hospital, because every episode only gets worse and worse.
I have people that I'm responsible to - people I check in with - basically to let them know that I've been taking my meds, because they are authorized to kick my ass if I don't take my meds. And those people should know that if I don't come around, you CAN hunt my ass down and pester me - even if I'm feeling antisocial.
Now, I must be going - it's almost 6:00 here, and I should get home so I can do laundry and clean up the living room. I'll write more later, I'm sure.
