Square Peg - Round Hole
Dec. 15th, 2002 09:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hiddenmuseI am confusing at times. As much as I'd prefer to not deal in labels, I sometimes feel a need to label things and have them in their nice, neat, happy niches. Maybe it's just a perverse desire to have control in my life - at least control over the things I can't control.
What am I getting at? Well, I started thinking about labels and stereotypes that we sometimes have for others. And how there are some stereotypes that I defy.
I like the notion that sexuality is a fluid thing. That not everyone will spend their lives aligned to one orientation or another. That we are allowed fluidity - you can spend half your life "perfectly" heterosexual, only to come to terms with the fact that you're gay. Or even vice-versa. (A heretical notion, I know) I'm fluid with how I define myself. Technically, I am bisexual, but I have nothing against being referred to as a lesbian. Even if I don't completely fit into the stereotype.
What Makes Me An Honest-To-God Stereotypical Dyke
1) Short hair
2) Long-standing crush on k.d. lang
3) I have a girlfriend (duh)
4) Being a Feminist
5) My sometimes left-leaning politics
6) Gina Gershon in Bound - Yummy.
7) Susie Bright is my Sex Goddess
8) The girl-lovin' thing that I do
What Doesn't Make Me An Honest-To-God Stereotypical Dyke
1) I don't like the Indigo Girls much (sorry Kellie!)
2) My crush on Steven Page
3) I write slashfic and get off on the idea of two guys getting it on. :-x
4) I don't look really butch.
5) I don't look really femme.
6) I hate folky granola "women's" music. Bleargh.
7) My politics aren't always leftist.
8) I like girls. I like boys. What's the big deal?
9) You could NEVER get me to go vegetarian.
And it's okay that I don't fit neatly into stereotypes. Yes, it makes me difficult and hard to pin down, big deal. Besides, it's fun to defy stereotypes every once in a while. ;) My favorite being: "I'm a feminist and I like sex" (What a novel concept ... hehe)
The reason I mention this is because I was thinking about how the lesbians I've known don't always fit into those nice little molds of "butch" or "femme", and haven't always been easily categorized. I've known women that fell into the stereotype of lesbians - vegetarian, leftist, feminist, etc. And others that didn't - one being quite conservative politically and bristling at the idea of feminism.
What am I getting at? Well, I started thinking about labels and stereotypes that we sometimes have for others. And how there are some stereotypes that I defy.
I like the notion that sexuality is a fluid thing. That not everyone will spend their lives aligned to one orientation or another. That we are allowed fluidity - you can spend half your life "perfectly" heterosexual, only to come to terms with the fact that you're gay. Or even vice-versa. (A heretical notion, I know) I'm fluid with how I define myself. Technically, I am bisexual, but I have nothing against being referred to as a lesbian. Even if I don't completely fit into the stereotype.
1) Short hair
2) Long-standing crush on k.d. lang
3) I have a girlfriend (duh)
4) Being a Feminist
5) My sometimes left-leaning politics
6) Gina Gershon in Bound - Yummy.
7) Susie Bright is my Sex Goddess
8) The girl-lovin' thing that I do
1) I don't like the Indigo Girls much (sorry Kellie!)
2) My crush on Steven Page
3) I write slashfic and get off on the idea of two guys getting it on. :-x
4) I don't look really butch.
5) I don't look really femme.
6) I hate folky granola "women's" music. Bleargh.
7) My politics aren't always leftist.
8) I like girls. I like boys. What's the big deal?
9) You could NEVER get me to go vegetarian.
And it's okay that I don't fit neatly into stereotypes. Yes, it makes me difficult and hard to pin down, big deal. Besides, it's fun to defy stereotypes every once in a while. ;) My favorite being: "I'm a feminist and I like sex" (What a novel concept ... hehe)
The reason I mention this is because I was thinking about how the lesbians I've known don't always fit into those nice little molds of "butch" or "femme", and haven't always been easily categorized. I've known women that fell into the stereotype of lesbians - vegetarian, leftist, feminist, etc. And others that didn't - one being quite conservative politically and bristling at the idea of feminism.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2002-12-15 08:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-12-15 08:42 pm (UTC)I certainly don't think I fit the "heterosexual male" stereotype but I do happen to be one.
Anyway you never come off as "gay" to me, but what do I know...?
no subject
Date: 2002-12-15 08:43 pm (UTC)There are a lot of ways in which I am a stereotypical dyke. And in difference to you, I do adore the Indigo Girls and a lot of that "granola women's" music. Short hair, have girlfriend, live near San Francisco... yada yada.
I'm generally a femme too. I'm not handy, I can't fix things, I go shopping, get my nails done and love makeup. But. I hate wearing dresses, I hate pinks and pastels, I hate floral and lace.
I want to snog Jimmy Fallon. Does that make me a "bad lesbian"?
What does this all make me??
It makes me ME. And that's the thing. Labels are the half second version. They are not the total package, and I agree that it's awful that people fit you into a stereotype based on that label.
Be you. If you aren't you are cheating yourself and those around you. We love you just like you are... no matter which labels you do or do not fit.
(sorry, that was way longer than I intended it to be)
no subject
Date: 2002-12-15 09:13 pm (UTC)