hiddenmuse: (Hardcore Raffi)
[personal profile] hiddenmuse
In my 20s, when I was actually getting into sexytimes with guys, I never stayed the night with them.

Because you see, when you're living at home and still under the pretense of being a Good Mormon Girl(TM), you're not supposed to be having any sort of sex life. With yourself, with the same sex and definitely not with the opposite sex. So when I was doing the (supposedly sinful) things I was doing, it was all under the threat of a Midnight or maybe 1 a.m. curfew...I can't remember.

So there was no curling up in bed and snuggling after a great orgasm. Instead it was a rush to get dressed and get my ass home, with a make-out in the car or at the doorstep to send me off until the next time we hooked up. Or maybe a rush to get to school or work, depending up who I was involved with at the time.

The only time I stayed overnight with a guy, it was my GBF - Gay Best Friend/Gay Boyfriend (and he was both - we "dated" until one of us found someone, which of course - he found someone first. While it was short-lived, it was fun.) I stayed the night on his couch, and we went to school the next day. I told my parents that I was staying with a (female) friend. No harm, no foul.

Fast-forward 20 years...and in the span of two months, I will be spending the night with two different guys. For entirely platonic reasons, mind you. I find it almost amusing, that in the time that I was fucking around with guys...never even came up with some lame excuse to stay the night with them, ever. Now, I have stayed (and will be staying) with guy friends - and it's just a matter of "it's way too late to be traveling - stay here and sleep on my couch, then head out in the morning." Friends looking out for each other.

I was talking to someone about it recently, mentioning the strangeness of it all - how it's different now, from when I was in my 20s. And I was asked how I felt about it, about the invitations being extended by my (male) friends. I said that I felt appreciated. Another way I felt - but didn't mention, was cared for. I'd almost say "loved" - but I've only known both of these people for a short time, and that feels like a pretty loaded word, to be honest. Maybe "accepted" by them - and into their respective groups - is a better descriptor.
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January 2017


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