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This afternoon, it just occurred to me that today is my dad's birthday - he would've been 68. Kellie reminded me that the first year is the hardest because it's the first 'everything' after someone passes away.


I remember that after years of what was essentially self-imposed estrangement, I reconnected with my dad at my stepdad's funeral. I put my arms around him, gave him a big hug and apologized for being such an ass, for being a bad daughter, for keeping away for so long, bawling my eyes out the entire time.

In response, he hugged me just as hard as I did him, and told me that he missed me and that he loved me very much. He could've just as easily told me to go away; who the hell do I think I am or whatever. Instead, he showed me that he loved and cared so much for me, that he was willing to focus more on the present than the past. The kind of love that I needed and got from my father.


Some days, I miss my dad more than other days. Today is definitely one of those days.

Date: 2011-03-01 02:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ithinkadrianne.livejournal.com
[major hugs] We all have our moments like this honey. And I'm sure he knows how you're feeling and hopes you can smile and remember the good times. If we can't do that, then what's the use of having memories at all?

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