p.s. to last night...
Nov. 24th, 2002 02:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hiddenmuseQuestion #5, which asked if you'd feel like you were being unfaithful if you had fantasies of someone besides your lover. You know, the way I answered it last night is completely different from how I would've answered it years ago.
When I'd first gotten the book, I was 19, and somehow had it in my head that if my hot & bothered sex dreams were about someone besides my boyfriend (or girlfriend), then I was cheating. I was somehow being a bad girl. It took me a long time to get past that mindset, and in the meantime, I think I wasted some of my time beating myself up over dreams that I now know are relatively harmless.
It took me too long to realize that it was one thing to dream of someone (or something), and another thing to actually do it. That it was okay to have fantasies about "darker" things, that I didn't have to rush out & try them because I'd dreamt of it.
No, I have no idea where the really fubar-ed mindset came from. It's probably a mix of many different things - teachings, friends, media, etc. What matters is that I've gotten past it, and that I'm moving on.
When I'd first gotten the book, I was 19, and somehow had it in my head that if my hot & bothered sex dreams were about someone besides my boyfriend (or girlfriend), then I was cheating. I was somehow being a bad girl. It took me a long time to get past that mindset, and in the meantime, I think I wasted some of my time beating myself up over dreams that I now know are relatively harmless.
It took me too long to realize that it was one thing to dream of someone (or something), and another thing to actually do it. That it was okay to have fantasies about "darker" things, that I didn't have to rush out & try them because I'd dreamt of it.
No, I have no idea where the really fubar-ed mindset came from. It's probably a mix of many different things - teachings, friends, media, etc. What matters is that I've gotten past it, and that I'm moving on.
