The 40 Least Metal Moments - from VH1

[hiddenmuse]

Personal favorites are bolded. Scary ones are italicized.

40. ALICE COOPER MAKES A COMP USA COMMERCIAL
39. GENE SIMMONS MANAGES LIZA MINELLI
38. AVRIL PERFORMS "FUEL" AT METALLICA ICON
37. ADAM CURRY HOSTS HEADBANGER'S BALL
36. FAITH NO MORE's JIM MARTIN GROWS PUMPKINS
35. JOE PERRY HOCKS HOT SAUCE ON EMERIL
34. BRUCE DICKINSON FENCING/WRITES A NOVEL
33. MICHAEL BOLTON & KISS TEAM UP FOR "FOREVER"
32. AUTOGRAPH'S STEVE PLUNKETT WRITES 7TH HEAVEN'S OPENING THEME
31. VINCE NEIL STARS ON THE SURREAL LIFE
30. LEMMY WRITES MAN-ADVICE FOR JANE MAGAZINE
29. BON JOVI CUTS HIS HAIR
28. RONNIE KEEL GOES COUNTRY/BECOMES RONNIE LEE KEEL
27. PUFFY & PAGE TEAM UP FOR "COME WITH ME"
26. RATT HIRE UNCLE MILTY FOR THEIR VIDEOS
25. MOTLEY CRUE HIRES JOHN CORABI, DITCHES VINCE NEIL
24. MARIAH DOES DEF LEPPARD'S "BRINGIN' ON THE HEARTBREAK"
23. METAL ORCHESTRAS - METALLICA, SCORPIONS, DEEP PURPLE
22. EUROPE
21. BON SCOTT PLAYS THE RECORDER

Just like the show, I'll give you all a break before continuing. :)

If you want to trudge on, here are the top 20 moments:
20. KISS GOES DISCO WITH "I WAS MADE FOR LOVIN' YOU"
19. KIP WINGER POSES FULLY CLOTHED IN SUITS FOR PLAYGIRL
18. ALICE COOPER TRADES IN HIS BAD HABITS FOR GOLFING
17. TICO TORRES STARTS BABY CLOTHES LINE
16. TED NUGENT FORMS DAMN YANKEES
15. VANILLA ICE GOES METAL
14. OZZY PEPSI COMMERCIAL
13. PAUL STANLEY STARS AS PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
12. NELSON
11. EXTREME'S GARY CHERONE BECOMES VAN HALEN'S SINGER
10. MICHAEL BOLTON EARLY METAL CAREER
9. KIP WINGER BALLERINA
8. METALLICA CUTS THEIR HAIR
7. SHERYL CROW COVERS "SWEET CHILD O' MINE"
6. JETHRO TULL WINS THE FIRST EVER METAL GRAMMY
5. PAT BOONE GOES METAL FOR AN ALBUM OF METAL CLASSICS
4. HEADBANGER'S BALL CANCELLED
3. CELINE DION COVERS AC/DC AT VH1 DIVAS LAS VEGAS
2. OZZY GOES TO WASHINGTON TO MEET BUSH
1. VINCE NEIL LEADS GIANT CHICKEN DANCE


I just want to poke out my eardrums with Q-Tips, if only to avoid hearing Avril Lavigne's screechy caterwaul on "Fuel" (which she managed to decimate), and Mariah Carey just ruining Def Leppard's "Bringin' On The Heartbreak". Did I mention Celine Dion's pissing all over AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long"? There's a special circle in Hell for that. And you know, they're on the Soundtrack in Hell ... when it's not Luau Night. ;)