Gotta Get This Off My Chest

In that sporadic tradition o'mine - you know, writing letters to people that will never see them - I have another one to be written. To get an idea of what the hell I'm talking about in today's letter, read this first: Steve's Rant, then click here ... ( If You Bitch, I Will Answer )

Now, for that everyday minutiae:

I spent last night unable to get to sleep until almost 2 a.m., agonizing over tax forms - where they were, would they be coming before Tuesday, how much do I owe, would I get anything back ... are they thinking of me? ;)

So, after calling the accountant that's handling the taxes (very long story there - maybe I'll tell it someday), I had them sent to the office via courier (yay!) and got them signed, paid the State (the Feds owe me money), sealed and mailed out at lunchtime.

Anyways, after that battle with insomnia, I've decided that I would be best off skipping my OA meeting tonight (bad, I know ... but my physical health depends on it) in favor of getting to be early tonight. Otherwise, another sleepless night could put me at risk of a seizure from sleep deprivation. Which would be far worse than missing a meeting.

That's about all that's going right now. I'll probably think of more later. I mainly wanted to post my response to the blog. :)

Have a good evening everyone!

(no subject)

Okay, so I was bad. I did miss the meeting - but rather than going straight home, I went to Target for a bathing suit.

Tried on the suit I had my eye on - black with red and blue stripes at the chest. Oy. That looked horrendous. Reminded me of why I hate wearing bathing suits, and reminded me of how any other fat gals I see at the pool, they tend to wear black bathing suits. As though we can really disguise are tummies and tuchases from the world by wearing black.

Anyways ... I also took in a couple of pieces of a Tankini (basically a two-piece suit with a top that goes to the waist, and a bottom that goes up to the waist also), and bought that instead. So, I am the proud owner of a swell yellow/white/varying shades of blue striped tankini top with adjustable straps & a navy bottom. I may go back sometime and get the blue/seafoam green striped halter-style tankini top, because that was damn cute, too. Apparently, I'm damn proud, as I've reverted to what I'd do as a kid when I got a new bathing suit: put it on, and proceeded to hang around the house in my bathing suit all day. What has me especially proud is that both pieces are a size 20. Yay me.


In something completely unrelated, I've started reading the book When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Rabbi Harold Kushner. It's a good book - if I can get past reading the first chapter without crying at every turn, I'm sure it'll be really good. But, it's supposed to help people that feel like G*d is punishing them with tragedy or has forsaken them in the bad times. It was recommended to my by my therapist when I mentioned that during my bout of depression that got me into treatment, I questioned - and even doubted the existence of - G*d, wondering why He'd "let" me go through something like depression. I still don't have the answer to that question - don't know that I ever will. But, I'm willing to give the book a try.