hiddenmuse | Jan. 12th, 2003

I hate so-called "women's magazines". Many of them are so condescending and risk making people feel bad for actually thinking for themselves. Yet, there really aren't many alternatives for us, are there?

Of course, if I were to start a magazine, it would be such a hodge-podge of stuff, and would sell to maybe 5 people. So, that isn't an option. Dammit.

I guess I'm relegated to picking and choosing at different magazines every month or so, with my only regulars being Bust, Grace, Allure, Spin and Details.

Ah well, at least there are options, so I'm not stuck reading the same dreck every month about "how to lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks!", "37 ways to get a man to notice you!", "the new sex trick to drive your man wild!", you probably know the spiel. I think it's a matter of the magazines recycling the same headers amongst themselves month to month, adding or taking out some things to avoid plagiarism claims.

Then again, they probably assume that the average reader is wandering about lost in a haze of hairspray (for that big ol' mane of sexy bedroom hair), perfume (how better to attract that man?), make-up carefully applied with garden tools, and starved half-to-death to lose those imagined 5 pounds.

Argh. I just want a magazine that doesn't tell me the same 10 "tricks" to get a man. If one has to resort to tricks and near-entrapment to get a partner, something's seriously wrong. Don't tell me about some crash diet to lose weight - and show a near-anorexic model to illustrate the story. Quit being so schizophrenic about hair - one month, it's supposed to be down to my ass. The next month, cut to chin length. Make up my mind, please! I'm not running around in a chemical haze, don't talk down to me, like I'm a child.

As for the "sex tricks", I may be with a woman, but I think I know a couple of things about men. They are actually rather simple beings - show up naked with alcohol and they're yours. For a while. If you really want to keep them happy - give 'em head once in a while. Hell, just get on top and play Pervy Cowgirl. Demand oral sex from them. Often. :^P

Treat me with decency and respect. Don't be afraid to discuss masturbation. Show real women in the clothes - not glorified, overpaid coathangers. How about praising individuality every once in a while? Talk to celebrities and don't ask the same fluff questions - they're probably annoyed by it as much as the readers are. Speaking of clothes - keep in mind that not all of us can afford those big-name designers. There's no shame in Target or Goodwill, dammit!

There. That's not too much to ask, is it?

Just a thought.