Borrowed from Banter@modernhumorist.com
Jan. 27th, 2003 08:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hiddenmuseGuide to Meteorological Conditions
What you need to know about the weather, from a former meteorology editor of The World Almanac
By Michael Northrop
"Alberta Clipper": A cold front descending down out of Canada and sweeping to the east, eh?
"Black Ice": Politically conscious son of Superfriends ensemble character Black Vulcan. Appeared in one episode ("Black to the Hall of Justice," aired 11/17/75).
"Coastal Flooding": Wildly unsuccessful spin-off of Coastal Living magazine.
"Cumulus": Kind of math the smart kids take.
"Doldrums": An area of the ocean near the equator characterized by calms, squalls, and light shifting winds. Seems like there's a joke there somewhere.
"F-1": Rank on the Fujita Scale of winds measuring 73-112 miles per hour and capable of inflicting moderate damage to free-standing structures and considerable damage to free-range chickens.
"F-150": Ford pickup, built Ford Tough. Available in Heritage, King Ranch, and Lightning models.
"Neap Tides": Not too high, not too low, just kind of fun to say.
"El Niño": Un flujo irregular que se repite de aguas superficiales inusualmente calientes del Océano Pacífico hacia y a lo largo de la costa occidental de América del sur que previene upwelling de un agua más fría, más profunda e interrumpe patrones regionales y globales del tiempo.
"La Niña": Oh no you dittint! No you dittint just put me after Niño! Papi, you better take another look at your alphabetization.
"Nor'easter": Severe storm system characterized by lack of th's and presence of duck boots.
"Small Craft Advisory": Alerts mariners to the presence of sustained weather, sea conditions, or tchotchkes, either present or forecast, that can be potentially hazardous or decorative to small boats.
"White Lightning": Woooooooo-EEEEE! That's some good hooch. Dang!
--
Michael Northrop is a former meteorology editor of The World Almanac, and now he probably won't be asked back.
What you need to know about the weather, from a former meteorology editor of The World Almanac
By Michael Northrop
"Alberta Clipper": A cold front descending down out of Canada and sweeping to the east, eh?
"Black Ice": Politically conscious son of Superfriends ensemble character Black Vulcan. Appeared in one episode ("Black to the Hall of Justice," aired 11/17/75).
"Coastal Flooding": Wildly unsuccessful spin-off of Coastal Living magazine.
"Cumulus": Kind of math the smart kids take.
"Doldrums": An area of the ocean near the equator characterized by calms, squalls, and light shifting winds. Seems like there's a joke there somewhere.
"F-1": Rank on the Fujita Scale of winds measuring 73-112 miles per hour and capable of inflicting moderate damage to free-standing structures and considerable damage to free-range chickens.
"F-150": Ford pickup, built Ford Tough. Available in Heritage, King Ranch, and Lightning models.
"Neap Tides": Not too high, not too low, just kind of fun to say.
"El Niño": Un flujo irregular que se repite de aguas superficiales inusualmente calientes del Océano Pacífico hacia y a lo largo de la costa occidental de América del sur que previene upwelling de un agua más fría, más profunda e interrumpe patrones regionales y globales del tiempo.
"La Niña": Oh no you dittint! No you dittint just put me after Niño! Papi, you better take another look at your alphabetization.
"Nor'easter": Severe storm system characterized by lack of th's and presence of duck boots.
"Small Craft Advisory": Alerts mariners to the presence of sustained weather, sea conditions, or tchotchkes, either present or forecast, that can be potentially hazardous or decorative to small boats.
"White Lightning": Woooooooo-EEEEE! That's some good hooch. Dang!
--
Michael Northrop is a former meteorology editor of The World Almanac, and now he probably won't be asked back.
