Baby It's Cold Inside

The office was FREEZING today. Even if I had Steven Page singing "Baby It's Cold Outside" on constant play, I'd still be cold, it was that bad. ;)

Everyone was in coats and gloves - and I do mean everyone. I had a space heater plugged in - only to blow out a fuse 2 minutes after turning it on. So, there went that. I was regretting that I didn't have on long underwear and my wool socks today, because that would've helped some.

To make things worse, St. Louis is having water main breaks left and right from pipes freezing over due to it being obscenely cold outside. We even had a water main break near our office - which was still going when I went home from work today. It wasn't as muddy and full-on as it was this morning, but the water was still pouring out pretty well.

As much as I've been dragging my heels on calling the doctor - I do *have to* reschedule a doctor's appointment, and if the weather keeps staying this cold - the office feeling about as accomodating as a meat locker, I may be calling for some drugs, dammit.

I've been home almost 2 hours now - and I think I'm getting feeling back into my limbs. My hands and toes are still cold, and I've got the heat on pretty well at home. Remind me to pack up a throw from home so I can keep my legs warm tomorrow! This is just unreal.

Now, I'm going to go de-frost some more, and wait for dinner to arrive. Being a slacker, I ordered pizza. If nothing else, leftovers are always good for dinner the next night. :^D

Borrowed from Banter@modernhumorist.com

Guide to Meteorological Conditions
What you need to know about the weather, from a former meteorology editor of The World Almanac
By Michael Northrop

"Alberta Clipper": A cold front descending down out of Canada and sweeping to the east, eh?

"Black Ice": Politically conscious son of Superfriends ensemble character Black Vulcan. Appeared in one episode ("Black to the Hall of Justice," aired 11/17/75).

"Coastal Flooding": Wildly unsuccessful spin-off of Coastal Living magazine.

"Cumulus": Kind of math the smart kids take.

"Doldrums": An area of the ocean near the equator characterized by calms, squalls, and light shifting winds. Seems like there's a joke there somewhere.

"F-1": Rank on the Fujita Scale of winds measuring 73-112 miles per hour and capable of inflicting moderate damage to free-standing structures and considerable damage to free-range chickens.

"F-150": Ford pickup, built Ford Tough. Available in Heritage, King Ranch, and Lightning models.

"Neap Tides": Not too high, not too low, just kind of fun to say.

"El Niño": Un flujo irregular que se repite de aguas superficiales inusualmente calientes del Océano Pacífico hacia y a lo largo de la costa occidental de América del sur que previene upwelling de un agua más fría, más profunda e interrumpe patrones regionales y globales del tiempo.

"La Niña": Oh no you dittint! No you dittint just put me after Niño! Papi, you better take another look at your alphabetization.

"Nor'easter": Severe storm system characterized by lack of th's and presence of duck boots.

"Small Craft Advisory": Alerts mariners to the presence of sustained weather, sea conditions, or tchotchkes, either present or forecast, that can be potentially hazardous or decorative to small boats.

"White Lightning": Woooooooo-EEEEE! That's some good hooch. Dang!

--
Michael Northrop is a former meteorology editor of The World Almanac, and now he probably won't be asked back.