It's Not Complicated (really)

[hiddenmuse]

I think I've figured something out about the opposite sex (you know, men). They're simple creatures. We as women just like to complicate them because we want to be able to "fix" and "solve" things - other people included.

This is probably why so many women's magazines every single month offer up suggestions to "drive him wild in bed" - basically recycling the same dreck everytime - when all one really needs to do is show up. Naked helps. ;)

Or, in the words of one of my many favorite men, Dennis Miller: "Hold us, love us, help us through this testosterone haze we're in. Or if that's too much to ask, how about a good sloppy blowjob every once in a while?"

Guys - you can correct me if I'm wrong. :)

Comments

[msboop.livejournal.com]

LOL... just as I posted about not changing my sweetie.

[msvu20.livejournal.com]

Carly, you may never need to buy Cosmo for men advice again (though I am not sure you ever have before ;-), but you've hit the nail on the head. Yes, we men are simple creatures.

Explosions, pizza, robots and nudity is about all we can handle at one time.

We don't do much most of the time besides stand around. What are we thinking about? Nothing.

Go download a track called Men & Women from Jerry Seinfeld's live CD. He puts it perfectly into perspective.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

Hehe - I've tried to read Cosmopolitan (not always for their redundant men advice either) and the magazine just seems so sleazy and cheap that I feel like I should be washing my hands post-reading.

As for "explosions, robots, pizza and nudity" - I'd guess that you don't want them all at once, like watching naked chicks blowing up robots ("Playboy Channel presents - 'Battlebots Gone Wild!'") while you eat pizza. ;)

Re:

[msvu20.livejournal.com]

LOL! I love it. Battlebots Gone Wild will be a reality show in the fall. You wait and see. Men will make it a hit. We'll use our souped-up sound systems and countless remote controls...

[bnlcoholic.livejournal.com]

That pretty much hits the nail on the head, so to speak. ;-)

[moongirli.livejournal.com]

My boyfriend once told me that his ideal birthday present involved the following: robots, zombies, ninjas, and sex.

[sabbysteg.livejournal.com]

My boyfriend requested, simply, penis-head (his slang for a blowjob).

[agoblin.livejournal.com]

My wife told me today that she knows the way to my heart. Of course, being the sarcastic bastard I am, I had to ask why she does not do it. From a woman's perspective, does it mean more to say you love someone than to show you love someone? Perhaps I am just confusing love and sex. If that is the case, I have had about as much love as I could ever need. Some one turn up the sex please.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

Personally, I have nothing against expressing my love through anything but sex - but I'd be lying if I didn't say that sometimes, a gal just wants to get down & do the do.

I think it all depends on how things are going when you catch the gal. Unfortunately, despite having possibly figured out men, I have yet to figure out my own gender. They sometimes leave me absolutely confused. Or perhaps I just spent too much time with my guy friends. ;)

[agoblin.livejournal.com]

It is more than the lack of sex. I like to exagerate to make a point and focus on one particular issue at a time. Sex is just the easiest to point out. It is just difficult to think much of yourself when the only thing that runs through my mind is, "Damn, your own wife doesn't want you."