hiddenmuse (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hiddenmuse) wrote2007-08-25 11:09 pm
hiddenmuse) wrote2007-08-25 11:09 pm
(no subject)
I have a sex filter, where I write about sex (duh) and anything related to it.
As a part of the filter, I post questions from the book, The Book of Questions - Love and Sex - mainly when I have no idea of what to write. And since there are some non-sex related questions, I thought I'd post a couple of the questions here.
Also, addition to the filter is ongoing - just drop a line on here, and I will add you!
In the meantime, onto the questions:
#15. If you were feeling sick and miserable, would you rather be by yourself or have your partner with you? Why?
I tend to prefer being by myself, because I can be a big baby about being sick, and I'd rather not subject anyone else to it. But sometimes, I do want my partner to be around to take care of me, because I can be a big baby. It's just a major dichotomy, really.
#78. When you look back on past relationships, do you ever wonder what you saw in a former lover? If so, is it more because you have changed or because you have grown to see the person more clearly?
Do I ever wonder? Is the sky blue? Seriously, there have been many times that I would question what I saw in a former lover. Usually, it didn't come up until a long time after the fact - and it came about from seeing things more clearly, since I wasn't caught up in the lust, or caught up in the moment, or just seeing what I wanted to see.
That's kind of how I came to realize that an ex-boyfriend was abusive towards me. I assumed that what was the verbal and emotional abuse was just his sarcasm and his general personality - not his way of abusing a lover. He wasn't hitting me, so therefore, it wasn't abuse. Yeah, I was desperate for affection and love, since I didn't feel like I was loveable. So I kind of glommed onto whomever came around - and didn't pay any mind to what came my way.
So, what about you, my lovelies? How would you answer the questions?
As a part of the filter, I post questions from the book, The Book of Questions - Love and Sex - mainly when I have no idea of what to write. And since there are some non-sex related questions, I thought I'd post a couple of the questions here.
Also, addition to the filter is ongoing - just drop a line on here, and I will add you!
In the meantime, onto the questions:
#15. If you were feeling sick and miserable, would you rather be by yourself or have your partner with you? Why?
I tend to prefer being by myself, because I can be a big baby about being sick, and I'd rather not subject anyone else to it. But sometimes, I do want my partner to be around to take care of me, because I can be a big baby. It's just a major dichotomy, really.
#78. When you look back on past relationships, do you ever wonder what you saw in a former lover? If so, is it more because you have changed or because you have grown to see the person more clearly?
Do I ever wonder? Is the sky blue? Seriously, there have been many times that I would question what I saw in a former lover. Usually, it didn't come up until a long time after the fact - and it came about from seeing things more clearly, since I wasn't caught up in the lust, or caught up in the moment, or just seeing what I wanted to see.
That's kind of how I came to realize that an ex-boyfriend was abusive towards me. I assumed that what was the verbal and emotional abuse was just his sarcasm and his general personality - not his way of abusing a lover. He wasn't hitting me, so therefore, it wasn't abuse. Yeah, I was desperate for affection and love, since I didn't feel like I was loveable. So I kind of glommed onto whomever came around - and didn't pay any mind to what came my way.
So, what about you, my lovelies? How would you answer the questions?
no subject
If I had a partner, I'd want them near me. I like to cuddle when I'm sick. Plus, I'd make the fetch things for me. XD
no subject
good question, usually, i want to be left alone, i am a pissy little bitch when i dont feel good, and i want to be allowed to be ugly and mean all by myself :)
no subject
I'd rather have someone take care of me, but that never happens :P
#78. When you look back on past relationships, do you ever wonder what you saw in a former lover? If so, is it more because you have changed or because you have grown to see the person more clearly?
Yes. I wonder this about my ex-girlfriend every day. For me, it was a bit of both. I began to see her for who she really was (an abusive psychopath), and because I changed and wasn't willing to put up with her shit anymore.
no subject
Whenever I have wondered what I saw it former lovers, it's usually because I've changed. Their bullshit was apparent from the start, but I always thought I could change it or overlook it as a small fault. Once I started gaining self-esteem, I realized I couldn't change anyone unless they wanted to change and I learned to stop putting up with crap.
no subject
and...
#15. If you were feeling sick and miserable, would you rather be by yourself or have your partner with you? Why?
i've always been very want-to-be-by-myself. partly because i have this stubborn i can take care of myself attitude and partly because i don't enjoy sharing my weakness with anyone. BUT, my partner is even more stubborn than i am and he WILL take care of me when i'm down, whether i like it or not. i have to admit, i'm slowly learning to like the appearance of herbal tea or an ice pack for my head without hauling my sorry butt to the kitchen. there are some perks to letting yourself be vulnerable.
#78. When you look back on past relationships, do you ever wonder what you saw in a former lover? If so, is it more because you have changed or because you have grown to see the person more clearly?
definitely. usually i come to the conclusion that i see things more clearly now. recognize abuse for what it was. recognize what was going on in my life from a macro perspective and why i might have wanted/needed/let something happen that wasn't good for me.