Well that's just ... lovely

[hiddenmuse]

Apparently there's a discussion going in faghags over what constitutes a "True" fag hag. Basically, are you a fag hag if you date/fool around with gay men, or are you a fag hag if you just about mother them?

If I'm not mistaken, "fag hag" originally referred to a straight woman that wanted to sleep with a gay man - and made no bones about it. Somehow, it's evolved into a name for the gay guy's best girl-friend. Someone that he can be fun and bitchy with - without sexual tension getting in the way.


Where does that leave the Queer girls that love their gay guy friends - but don't want to fuck them eight ways to Sunday? And what of the straight and queer girls that like the idea of two guys getting it on ... but wouldn't want to join in, just watch?

Yeah, I'm asking about where us Slashers fit into the whole scenario. (Oh wait ... I guess that makes us girlfags. Or something.)

Comments

[full4zaccordion.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmm....boy-on-boy action....

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

Of course - one of the best things in the world! ;)

[peppervl.livejournal.com]

We're slashers. Isn't that identity enough? That leaves us free to drool over hot guys getting it on or hot girls getting it on. And it doesn't matter if we're straight, queer, or bisexual.

I've never heard that term before today, but it doesn't really seem like something that I would want to be.

Then again, I would much rather be labled based on what I do (slasher, skiier, insurance account representative) and what I intrinsicly am (sister, daughter, granddaughter) than the way I think or feel.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

Which term? I assume that you mean "fag hag" ... heh

And yes, "Slasher" (or as I think of myself, "slash slut") is an identity unto itself, most definitely.


I just found it interesting that some of the girls took the discussion as one-upmanship (or is it "one-upwomanship"?), trying to determine who is more fag hag-gier than thou, when it seems to be about discussing what the individual thinks makes them a fag hag.

Ah well ... you'll always find some kind of silliness and contention in any group.

[katlinn.livejournal.com]

Hmmm! good question! I always assumed the term meant a girl that generally hangs around/is good friends with gay guys.

Basically I think us slashers are a whole new catagory of our own ;)

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah - slashers are definitely their own entity!

Yes, we want to write all kinds of fun, dirty stories about guys interacting beyond locker room banter and junior high circle jerks. :-X

[jenxteen.livejournal.com]

For some reason, I had not heard the term "fruit fly" until this weekend.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

That's one of many terms that I've heard. :)

My personal favorite is "flame dame" - sounds a little more dignified, or something. ;)

[saintrigger.livejournal.com]

OI! What about us straight guys who hang around with their lesbian friends (SO they can beat up the bullies and stuff ;> ) and have no desire to sleep with them (or watch, which blows alot of peoples minds)

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

I've heard terms like "Dutch Boy" (but I think that's more for the guy that likes to sleep with lesbians), and "guy dyke".

As I told someone before, when this same topic came up, I just call them "my friends". :-)

[neurotic-one.livejournal.com]

lesbo lad.

[saintrigger.livejournal.com]

Sounds too much like a super-hero with the ability to turn women gay. Probably has a lesiure suit with a cape and a magic gold medallion or something.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

Kind of does, doesn't it?

With your description, it sounds especially lecherous!

[cyndal.livejournal.com]

I always assumed the term "fag hag" dealt with straight women who played den mother to her fags. I would never dream of sleeping with mah fags.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

I think it can go many different ways, really.

Some girls want to sleep with their men - others don't. As much as I love my men, I wouldn't want to sleep with them - and I'd imagine that the feeling is mutual.

[storyofagurl.livejournal.com]

Those are such good questions.

I have had the same best fag boi friend forever.
And he tells me that I cain't be a faghag cause I'm a lesbian.

So, thus, what the hell am I?

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

I had the same situation with my boi in college - I wasn't a "fag hag" because I wasn't straight. So I was his friend/ lesbian girlfriend.

Now, I just refer to myself as a "flame dame" - because apparently there isn't an actual term for queer girls that hang out with queer boys.

[azraelsdaisy.livejournal.com]

I completely ignored that discussion because I knew it would make me mad. I always understood that a fag hag was a straight girl who enjoyed the company of gay men over straight men. I think that's why Thomas, Jeremy, and Brad all call me their fag hag.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

You're not missing much! I think it started as an honest question and someone expressing her opinion - then it got to feeling like some of the girls were trying to one-up each other. As though one girl only having platonic relationships isn't "fag hag enough" for the girl that has dated her bois - or even fooled around with one.

It could get really messy, but I think that "fag hag" is best defined by each individual. For some of us, we prefer to keep things platonic. Others are willing to take things further. (Yes, I realize that taking a "laissez-faire" approach may seem like a cop-out...)

[azraelsdaisy.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't call what you said a "cop-out" but more "adult". I am starting to get bored with the 16 year old OMGLOLERRZZZ!!!! posts in the community. And the NEWayz. I'm tired of that too. And the whole, "My boi/fag is hotter than your boi/fag." C'mon.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

Yeah - it's become over-run by the next generation of fag hags ... and some of them are just downright silly.

[bak2oz.livejournal.com]

I've always been a "fruit fly." Dunno where the title came from, but I'm the mothering hag who's gay friends love to bitch with/no sexual tension.

Does there have to be specific catagories for those of us females (gay or straight) who love our gay men(sexually or platonically)?

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

I'd hope there don't have to be categories!

I think sometimes people just like to compartmentalize everything, and one way to keep things in order is to have a label or designation for everyone.

We should be able to consider ourselves whatever we want to ... without someone else getting bitchy about it. (But, that's probably too idealistic!)

[bak2oz.livejournal.com]

It's too logical & involves common sense. You know those have no place in the real world.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah! *smacks forehead* I seem to forget that logic and common sense don't exist outside of my fantasy land.

Thanks for reminding me! ;)

[bak2oz.livejournal.com]

logic & common sense obviously don't come into play when replying via email, either. I tried a couple of days ago, but the server was down Let's try this again:

At least you're not alone in yur fantasy land!

[drivernj.livejournal.com]

Ahh man do I ever love the man on man action! I wouldn't mind joining in though, if I had to ;)

~Nicole

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

Heh - you'd want a good bi boy. Or, at least a very open-minded straight boy! ;)

[drivernj.livejournal.com]

hmmm :)

~Nicole