hiddenmuse (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hiddenmuse) wrote2003-04-14 09:34 pm
hiddenmuse) wrote2003-04-14 09:34 pm
(no subject)
Okay, so I was bad. I did miss the meeting - but rather than going straight home, I went to Target for a bathing suit.
Tried on the suit I had my eye on - black with red and blue stripes at the chest. Oy. That looked horrendous. Reminded me of why I hate wearing bathing suits, and reminded me of how any other fat gals I see at the pool, they tend to wear black bathing suits. As though we can really disguise are tummies and tuchases from the world by wearing black.
Anyways ... I also took in a couple of pieces of a Tankini (basically a two-piece suit with a top that goes to the waist, and a bottom that goes up to the waist also), and bought that instead. So, I am the proud owner of a swell yellow/white/varying shades of blue striped tankini top with adjustable straps & a navy bottom. I may go back sometime and get the blue/seafoam green striped halter-style tankini top, because that was damn cute, too. Apparently, I'm damn proud, as I've reverted to what I'd do as a kid when I got a new bathing suit: put it on, and proceeded to hang around the house in my bathing suit all day. What has me especially proud is that both pieces are a size 20. Yay me.
In something completely unrelated, I've started reading the book When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Rabbi Harold Kushner. It's a good book - if I can get past reading the first chapter without crying at every turn, I'm sure it'll be really good. But, it's supposed to help people that feel like G*d is punishing them with tragedy or has forsaken them in the bad times. It was recommended to my by my therapist when I mentioned that during my bout of depression that got me into treatment, I questioned - and even doubted the existence of - G*d, wondering why He'd "let" me go through something like depression. I still don't have the answer to that question - don't know that I ever will. But, I'm willing to give the book a try.
Tried on the suit I had my eye on - black with red and blue stripes at the chest. Oy. That looked horrendous. Reminded me of why I hate wearing bathing suits, and reminded me of how any other fat gals I see at the pool, they tend to wear black bathing suits. As though we can really disguise are tummies and tuchases from the world by wearing black.
Anyways ... I also took in a couple of pieces of a Tankini (basically a two-piece suit with a top that goes to the waist, and a bottom that goes up to the waist also), and bought that instead. So, I am the proud owner of a swell yellow/white/varying shades of blue striped tankini top with adjustable straps & a navy bottom. I may go back sometime and get the blue/seafoam green striped halter-style tankini top, because that was damn cute, too. Apparently, I'm damn proud, as I've reverted to what I'd do as a kid when I got a new bathing suit: put it on, and proceeded to hang around the house in my bathing suit all day. What has me especially proud is that both pieces are a size 20. Yay me.
In something completely unrelated, I've started reading the book When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Rabbi Harold Kushner. It's a good book - if I can get past reading the first chapter without crying at every turn, I'm sure it'll be really good. But, it's supposed to help people that feel like G*d is punishing them with tragedy or has forsaken them in the bad times. It was recommended to my by my therapist when I mentioned that during my bout of depression that got me into treatment, I questioned - and even doubted the existence of - G*d, wondering why He'd "let" me go through something like depression. I still don't have the answer to that question - don't know that I ever will. But, I'm willing to give the book a try.
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(alternately, you could just show up on my doorstep in it, but I have to warn you, it won't stay on you for long if you choose this option.)