hiddenmuse (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hiddenmuse) wrote2006-09-18 10:01 pm
hiddenmuse) wrote2006-09-18 10:01 pm
If it's good for me, why do I feel this way?
Why do I always feel so guilty about taking time off work? Have I brainwashed myself so badly that I feel like I *need to* be working at all times?
When someone gets an e-mail from the bookkeeper/human resources/whomever keeps track of vacation time at your office, telling you that you have X number of vacation days to "use or lose" - as I do - I scurried to find days on the calendar that weren't already taken by other department members. Hence, an office calendar full of my non-sequitur days off.
Some days, I actually have things planned, don't get me wrong. Lame, grown-up things, like going to the doctor or the dentist. Tomorrow is an exception - while I do have a doctor's appointment (boo!), I have a lot of pampering going on in between (yay!). Now, if I can just get my damn brain to shut the hell up for once - and let go, and not feel so guilty.
Speaking of doctors, I had my appointment with the ear nose & throat (ENT) doctor about the TMD/TMJ problems from Hell, and got some good information: essentially, I'm not alone - TMD occurs in younger women, 8 times more than it does in men. With orthodontics, there is the risk that it wouldn't do any good - and could just leave someone out several thousand dollars. If a doctor suggests surgery, or any invasive procedure - run.
Instead, my treatment route is more conservative. Yes, I'm on medication (Flexaril* ... a muscle relaxant that apparently knocks people *out*) for a short-term basis. I've also got the requisite soft foods diet (no, it doesn't involve baby food, or all mashed potatoes, all the time) - it just means no Doritos, raw carrots, nuts, etc. for the next 8 weeks. And if I eat anything that isn't "soft", it has to be cut up really well ... almost like someone would do for a young kid. :-/ And did I mention physical therapy? Yeah, apparently there is a such thing as physical therapy for TMD. Who woulda thunk it?
*On the Flexaril, riddle me this, Batman ... my health insurance will cover my 10 mg. dosage, but not a 5 mg. dosage of the same drug. Perhaps they assume that the patients can just cut the pills in half? Whatever. Health Insurance isn't my bag - and makes no sense to me.)
When someone gets an e-mail from the bookkeeper/human resources/whomever keeps track of vacation time at your office, telling you that you have X number of vacation days to "use or lose" - as I do - I scurried to find days on the calendar that weren't already taken by other department members. Hence, an office calendar full of my non-sequitur days off.
Some days, I actually have things planned, don't get me wrong. Lame, grown-up things, like going to the doctor or the dentist. Tomorrow is an exception - while I do have a doctor's appointment (boo!), I have a lot of pampering going on in between (yay!). Now, if I can just get my damn brain to shut the hell up for once - and let go, and not feel so guilty.
Speaking of doctors, I had my appointment with the ear nose & throat (ENT) doctor about the TMD/TMJ problems from Hell, and got some good information: essentially, I'm not alone - TMD occurs in younger women, 8 times more than it does in men. With orthodontics, there is the risk that it wouldn't do any good - and could just leave someone out several thousand dollars. If a doctor suggests surgery, or any invasive procedure - run.
Instead, my treatment route is more conservative. Yes, I'm on medication (Flexaril* ... a muscle relaxant that apparently knocks people *out*) for a short-term basis. I've also got the requisite soft foods diet (no, it doesn't involve baby food, or all mashed potatoes, all the time) - it just means no Doritos, raw carrots, nuts, etc. for the next 8 weeks. And if I eat anything that isn't "soft", it has to be cut up really well ... almost like someone would do for a young kid. :-/ And did I mention physical therapy? Yeah, apparently there is a such thing as physical therapy for TMD. Who woulda thunk it?
*On the Flexaril, riddle me this, Batman ... my health insurance will cover my 10 mg. dosage, but not a 5 mg. dosage of the same drug. Perhaps they assume that the patients can just cut the pills in half? Whatever. Health Insurance isn't my bag - and makes no sense to me.)
no subject
Whatever you do, good luck!