hiddenmuse: (God)
hiddenmuse ([personal profile] hiddenmuse) wrote2006-09-12 10:58 pm

Random collection of thoughts

Muscle relaxants make me slightly loopy and drowsy. Even the 1/4 dose of Robaxisal (about 200 mg Robaxin w/160 mg aspirin) had me feeling out of sorts - and so glad that I didn't take the half-dose, which probably would've knocked me onto my ass before I could make it home. Didn't do much for my jaw - but it did let me get in a nap on the couch, with one of the cats sitting on me at some point.

I've kind of stopped taking the Valium - if only because I found that it just made me feel really damned groggy in the morning. Still, even when I was on it, I had a few instances where I'd wake in the night, gnashing and/or grinding my teeth, bite guard in place. Looking forward to seeing the ear, nose & throat doc that my (now former) internist recommended to me - as much as I dread going to the doctor.




Last night, I had a somewhat disjointed dream about my friend, Eva. Eva was like my "Church Grandma" when I lived in St. Louis - she's an older lady that I'd always liked talking to when I'd see her at church. Anyways, she's been having many, many health problems - including the early stages of Alzheimer's - and my dream seemed to deal with that, as well as perhaps reconciling an eventual reality.

In my dream, in one scenario, I had passed by her place - watching her husband packing up her personal effects into a moving van. (He is facing the decision to put her in a home) The look on his face was one of stoicism, yet in his eyes, I could see the sadness and frustration at not being able to talk with others before the moving day.

In another scenario, I am at church, in the cultural hall (basically the gym), and Eva is standing in the doorway. She appears as I remembered seeing her at Christmas, only she is walking with a cane. When I approach her, at first she doesn't recognize - or remember - me, but after a minute, she realizes who I am and gives me a hug. I hold onto her, afraid that if I let go, she will disappear. Before the dream can continue, I wake up.
ext_214893: me in the desert smiling (Default)

[identity profile] meadelante.livejournal.com 2006-09-13 07:01 am (UTC)(link)
benzos like valium really wreck me in the morning... but i get sleep that feels decent until i sleep without them. then it all tiredness comes back with change.
ext_214893: me in the desert smiling (Default)

[identity profile] meadelante.livejournal.com 2006-09-13 07:01 am (UTC)(link)
benzos like valium really wreck me in the morning... but i get sleep that feels decent until i sleep without them. then it all tiredness comes back with interest.