Family and other Natural Disasters

[hiddenmuse]

I am home from my annual visit with the family ... and I have been for a couple of days now.

For some reason, I thought that if I waited a couple of days, to get over and process everything, it would be easier to deal with. Instead it's not.

It's so weird. I love my family because they're family. I can't stand my family because they're family. There were so many instances where my mom opened her mouth, and I had to bite my tongue, hard.

I guess I didn't realize how bigoted she could be, until the Christmas visit. I got to hear her go on about various families at church, and how they shelter their kids ... and how compared to them, she is a "cool mom", since she "listens to (her) daughter's music, listens to her daughter, etc." Then, she pretty much negates it by telling me a story of visiting my brother while he was still at school, and he'd mentioned his wanting to date a black girl (this was said sotto voce, of course...) - Mom said that she told him, "well, you know how I feel about that sort of thing..." {For the record, she'd never admit it, but inter-racial dating/marriage to her almost the same as inter-faith dating/marriage. It would just fuck up the kids for life, I guess.} As you can probably guess, he didn't date the girl.

In several other instances, anytime my mom would bring up African-Americans, they were referred to as "black people" and "black people" was always said in a whisper, as though she'd dropped an F-Bomb in polite company or something.


Then, there was her response to seeing a program about an MTF transsexual on TV - "That's disgusting". WOW. I guess that means that several people in my life - a co-worker's spouse; my sister (via her Family of Choice); the Safeway delivery woman ... are being written off as disgusting, because they don't fit into her mold of acceptability. What a shame....


And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, when I was being taken to the airport to go home, I heard about how my mom's best friend (someone that we call our "Aunt") was converting to Judaism, and because of this, she would "have to renounce Jesus ... and Heavenly Father won't recognize her when she dies." {Yeah ... take a minute to wrap your mind around that, and hold onto your seats, because it gets worse.} Apparently, upon getting this news, mom told her friend (of 30+ years) "While I don't agree with your decision..." As much as I'd love to think that she didn't actually *say this* - it wouldn't suprise me if she did.


So ... yeah. I apparently come from that gene pool. How the hell did that happen?

Comments

[kathkat.livejournal.com]

Disgusting? Nice.. ;)

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

yeah, my thoughts exactly.

Unfortunately, there are so many people that just don't get it ... and would prefer not to.

Like I said, I can't believe that I come from this gene pool - but, there it is.

[donia.livejournal.com]

i come from a gene pool like that, too and I wonder the same thing.

[livinginoctober.livejournal.com]

I've been wondering about you! I'm happy to see you again.

[kathykat.livejournal.com]

Word!

:)

[full4zaccordion.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Your mom sounds like my grandma, except my grandma's not religious. She hates anyone who isn't white and straight. I can't believe she's my dad's mother, because my dad is the most open-minded person on the planet. Even he can't stand to be around her for very long, because she starts in about "those lazy Mexicans" or "those gays"(that one particularly pisses my dad off because his best friend from high school is gay). Yeah, so, I'm just glad the rest of my family isn't bigoted like that.

[mediaanarchist.livejournal.com]

You have the Lewis Black icon- you know better than to process bad logic - it causes anuerysms.

Seriously though, that really sucks--especially when you are traveling to spend quality time with people you love and care about, don't see often enough.

That said- you're in good company.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

You know, after reading your comment, I went and listened to Lewis Black's "IHOP" bit ... and reminded myself that there really is no way to understand some people and their fucked-up logic - why start now?

[mediaanarchist.livejournal.com]

fucked up logic is too seductive to a curious mind. I still think of horses when I go to school. *argh*

[immortalravings.livejournal.com]

i'm sorry you have to go through that. my boyfriend's- well i think he's my boyfriend- is white, and i'm south asian, and we always get weird stares. we live in the bay area too, so i guess it's probably worse in other places..

[bak2oz.livejournal.com]

We always learn from example. Sometimes we follow the example. Other times, we realize the example is not how we want to live our lives. We can't control our gene pool, but we can control how deeply we swim in it.