You're not missing much! I think it started as an honest question and someone expressing her opinion - then it got to feeling like some of the girls were trying to one-up each other. As though one girl only having platonic relationships isn't "fag hag enough" for the girl that has dated her bois - or even fooled around with one.

It could get really messy, but I think that "fag hag" is best defined by each individual. For some of us, we prefer to keep things platonic. Others are willing to take things further. (Yes, I realize that taking a "laissez-faire" approach may seem like a cop-out...)